Answer 18 questions across 6 evidence-based dimensions: communication, trust, intimacy, shared values, conflict resolution, and mutual respect. Get a relationship health score, per-dimension grades, and personalized insights.
The Gottman Institute's four decades of research on couples — tracking thousands of relationships across years — identified six core dimensions that predict relationship satisfaction and longevity more reliably than any other variables. These aren't intuitive criteria like "do you love each other" or "do you have common interests." They're specific behavioral and attitudinal patterns that, when present, predict lasting, satisfying relationships — and when absent, predict dissolution.
This assessment is structured around those six dimensions. Each question is designed to surface specific behaviors, not feelings. "Feelings" are notoriously unreliable reporters of relationship health — you can feel great in an objectively struggling relationship, and feel anxious in an objectively healthy one. Behaviors and patterns are more accurate. Answer each question honestly, based on how things actually are — not how you wish they were or how they are on good days.
Rate each statement from 1 (Almost Never) to 5 (Almost Always). Answer honestly — the assessment is only as useful as your answers are accurate.
Understanding where your relationship needs attention is the first step. Here are the most evidence-backed interventions for each core dimension.
Practice "active listening" — reflect back what you heard before responding. The goal in any conversation is understanding, not winning. Try the "soft startup": begin hard conversations with "I feel" instead of "You always/never."
Trust is built in small, consistent moments — not grand gestures. Follow through on small commitments. Be predictable. Research shows that vulnerability (sharing fears, insecurities) accelerates trust when met with care.
Physical and emotional intimacy feed each other. Small daily touches — a hug, hand-holding — maintain physical connection. Emotional intimacy deepens through "I've been thinking about" conversations that go beyond logistics.
You don't need to agree on everything — you need alignment on your most important priorities: family, finances, lifestyle, future direction. Regular "where are we going" conversations keep this alignment visible.
Avoid the "Four Horsemen": criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling. Gottman's research shows that "repair attempts" — de-escalation bids during conflict — predict outcomes more than the conflict itself. Accept repair bids.
Contempt — sarcasm, eye-rolls, dismissiveness — is the single strongest predictor of relationship failure. Counter it with what Gottman calls a "culture of appreciation": regularly naming specific things you admire about your partner.